It’s snowing again. Quite a lot. It is unfortunate. I’m walking alone, walking home. I think. Sometimes the road home is just too long. It is painful just to imagine. How long is this going to last? Walking alone is such a feat these days. The mind goes off and there’s no helping it. I start looking for them. Those who were supposed to walk along and never came home.
I’ve been missing him lately. I don’t know much about him. I confess. But I know enough to wonder: what is it that brings me back to his arms? He was a man of few words and a big enough heart to put everything into anything. He was just there, all the time; simple, smiling. I guess that’s what I miss, what I need just now. Holding hands with someone stronger, someone unquestionable, constant.
What is a father for a son? A point of departure? A port in this ocean of unwanted, unyielding, emotions? A source of calm? I can’t tell, really. I just know there is too much snow and I cannot walk alone anymore. I feel I am too weak. I wish he were here. But sometimes the road home is just too long. You start looking around for those who take the same direction. He’s nowhere to be found. Where should I go?